


The phantom Thief Cometh.

by TheWorldsWorstSwordsman



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 03:33:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10890819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWorldsWorstSwordsman/pseuds/TheWorldsWorstSwordsman
Summary: Dennis is a target.Phones get switched.Charlie Discovers the metaverse.Can the phantom theives win this time?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have posted this so many times, and it's failed. I think it might be the gifs in Charlie's post. If you see no gifs, it's because I removed them because it was deleting the rest of the post. 
> 
> Way to much effort for this...
> 
> Also its apparently posted as anonymous. I'll add myself as co-author and see it that works, but it not, I'm TheWorldsWorstSwordsman. Dunno why it did that.

“So, now we just have to wait till Okumura has a change of heart”.

Ann sighed with relief which was the cue for the rest of the Phantom Thieves to relax. Things had been going well so far, and Kunikazu Okumura was now the Phantom Thieves latest victim to have his treasure stolen. The Phan site was going crazy, with their approval rating now sitting over 80%. When Joker looked back at how far they had come from Kamoshida, and how much their group had grown, it was astounding.

“Thank you all so very much for your help” Haru smiled sweetly, and Ryuji rubbed his nose.

“Don't worry about it. Besides, you were a part of this tpp, y’know? Be proud of yourself.”

Haru looked like she was going to speak again, but instead nodded, still smiling.

“Now all we have to do is await his change of heart. Until then, does Mishima have any targets for us?” Yusuke asked politely, shifting slightly from the wall he had chosen to lean against rather than sit down.

“Yeah.” Joker nodded, and pulled out his phone. Mishima had sent him a link to a bizarre Phan site post, written in English. With Jokers high intelligence he was able to translate it, but even then it made barely any sense. It read:

**_Dennos Reennolðs is no god batsard manmake Charlie work 2 hąR_ **

“U-uh… De… Dennis Reynolds is no god-good? Bastard… man, make Charlie work too har-hard...it ends with some cowboy emojis and some flames.” Joker struggled through, but he made it in the end. The entire group were similarly unimpressed by the request.

“What on earth…?” Yusuke exclaimed, but before anyone could say anything else a small squeak from Haru grabbed everyone's attention.

“U-um, I had my app open to see if my father's palace really had disappeared, and well, um…” she showed them her phone, and the room got tense.

“What the hell!? This guy has a palace!?” Ryuji shouted, quickly pulling out his own phone to double check.

“Not just that, look…” Morgana’s voice was concerned, and soon the group noticed why. Whoever Dennis Reynolds was, his keywords were ‘Dennis Reynolds’, ‘God’, and ‘Earth’.

“How egotistical do you have to be to have the Earth as your palace…!? Is that even possible!?” Ann’s voice was almost trembling.   
“Let's not jump to conclusions. For all we know, this is another case like Futaba’s, and he isn't doing anything wrong. Futaba?” Makoto looked at Futaba, who had been oddly silent, only to noticed her frantically searching her pockets.

“Missing.” She said curtly, her eyes sharp. She quickly leapt across the room to her laptop, phone in hand.

“What?” Joker asked, as they watched her plug in the phone she had to the laptop.

“This isn't my jacket. Must've been switched. Those tourists from earlier.”

Joker remembered them, and grimaced. It was a group of 5 Americans, obviously on vacation. They were extremely rude and obnoxious, and pretty racist. Sojiro sent both Joker and Futaba upstairs for their own safety if things kicked off. They apparently didn't pay for anything either…Joker had wanted to get their names as a job for the Phantom Thieves, but he never got a chance to find out their names. Thinking about it, the jittery looking guy did have a similar jacket. Barely anytime had passed and Futaba was reading out his details.

“Charlie Kelly. Philadelphia. Currently on vacation. According to his dating profile, he likes… milk steak and sewers? Wait… according to his phones browser history, he was the one who posted the weird request!”

Joker was surprised, but it wasn't exactly the first time fate has brought the Phantom Thieves and their victims together. In fact, Joker was much more surprised, as were the rest of the group, by the familiar notification sound from their phones.

“No way…” Ryuji gaped.

“This Kelly-San has a palace too!?”

The group stared at their phones, once again showing a palace, this time the keywords so far being ‘Charlie Kelly’ and ‘Sewer’.

“The sewer…” Yusuke seemed disgusted. Haru spoke up.

“Is… it usually this easy to find people with palaces?”

“No. To find two people with a palace, who both know each other, it's almost unheard of…huh?” Morgana trailed off, as a noise they hadn't ever heard before came from their phones.

“ **_Palace Deleted_ **.”

As quick as hit had appeared, the hit for Charlie Kelly was gone.

“Palace… deleted?” Joker asked to no one in particular, hoping someone else might have an answer.

“Could it be like Kaneshiro said? Could someone else be using the Metaverse?” Makoto theorized, but a nervous laugh from Futaba brought the attention back to her.

“Uhh… guys…”

She held up the phone of the tourist, and Jokers stomach sank. On the bottom left corner sat an app the Phantom Thieves knew far too well…after a few deafening seconds of silence, it was Yusuke who broke the silence.

“Oh dear.”

*****

“Hey Charlie,” Mac entered the hotel room without knocking, wearing a kimono. It was the second day of their vacation, and Frank, Dennis and Dee were all off doing something else, and so Mac was stuck making sure Charlie didn't freak out about being in another country and trash the hotel room. Thankfully, the room seemed to be in pretty good condition, with Charlie sat on the computer which came with the room.

“Hey man.” Charlie looked up, but did a double take when he saw what Mac was wearing. “What’re you wearing?”

“Oh, oh this?” Mac pointed to himself, and a smile broke across his face. “It's a kimono dude, traditional Japanese garb.”

“Oh, oh cool. Isn't it usually worn by like, chicks and stuff?”

“What? No man, this is like, manly as you're gonna get in Japan.”

“Really?”

“Yeah Charlie, you see, this is what the Samurai wore when they fought in World War Two,” Mac explained, and Charlie's eyes widened.

“Oh shit man, so it's like some Nazi shit, all right I can dig that.”

Mac was becoming exasperated. “No Charlie, it's not Nazi shit, god damn. At least..” He thought about it, his brow furrowed. Pearl Harbor was an attack on America, but he hadn't seen that movie in such a long time he couldn't remember. “I don't know, if it is, Japan has a terrifying number of Nazi groupies. Anyway, what are you doing?”

“Oh right, dude, check this out!” Charlie beckoned Mac over, and showed him a red and black screen covered in Japanese text.

“What’s this?” Mac asked.

“Okay right, so you know how there was that news special on the Phantom Thieves the other week back in Philly?”

“Oh yeah, the one with that bitch ass little detective on?” Mac guessed, and Charlie clapped his hands together and excitedly pointed to the screen.

“Yeah, right, so I thought like, seeing as we’re here I'd post Dennis up on there and see if I can get him to have a change of heart and make me do less work!” Charlie laughed, and Mac’s eyes lit up.

“You put Dennis on the phansite?” he chuckled, taking a closer look at the screen.

“Yeah man, make they could make him less of a hardass all the time.”

Mac read the post Charlie had written, easy to find as it was the only English post on the site.

“‘Dennis is a no good bastard man who makes Charlie work too hard.’ Oh man, that's great Charlie, but you know what would be really funny?” Mac’s enthusiasm egged Charlie on even further.

“What?”

“You should tell them to make Dennis gay.”

Charlie stopped laughing.

“Why...why would I wanna make Dennis gay?”

Mac could sense Charlie's enthusiasm dwindling and as such his own began to fall.

“Because, like. It's funny. I mean, they can change it back, I just thought, you know.”

“I mean…it's not really funny though…” Charlie was now looking at his phone…or at least a phone. An unfamiliar app was loaded up.

“Anyway, what's that?”

“Huh? Oh, picked up the wrong phone earlier and opened the tracker app to try and find my phone but it didn't work.”

Charlie sighed, and Mac’s brow furrowed more.

“Wait, you opened the tracker app?”

“Yeah”

“On this stranger's phone?”

“To find my phone, yeah.”

“But why on earth would this stranger have a tracker for your phone?”

“I dunno, I thought like, when we switched it or something.”

“Charlie that doesn't make any sense!”

“Well maybe it would help us find their phone, then!”

“Charlie we found their phone, it's sitting right there next to the God damn computer! Jesus, Charlie. Anyway, what’s the web domain because I wanna-”

The app made a noise, taking Mac and Charlie by surprise.

 **_“Target located_ **.”

“Hah! Told you it would work! ” Charlie cried out, as a weird glow filled the room, and Mac looked around in confusion.

“Uh, Charlie, I don't think that's locating your phone.”

The entire room had turned nearly entirely grey. The color only had the slightest hint of its original hue left, apart from Mac, Charlie and a glow coming from the window.

“What the shit dude…?” Charlie muttered as they both made their way towards the hotel balcony. The same could be said for outside, with the exception of women. They seemed to be the only colorful thing left. Well that, and...Charlie and Mac weren't sure what they were seeing. At first they thought it was the sun, but the sun wasn't that big, or that shape, or that… naked.

“Oh my God, dude…” Charlie looked at Mac, and was taken aback by the giant grin on his face as he spoke.

"That's Dennis."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thou art I.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hyperlink leads to a song that can be read to at that point for added enjoyment. A bit of a shorter chapter (I'll make up with it in the next one as I won't be writing it on my phone,) but one I wanted to get out. 
> 
> Once again I'm TheWordsWorstSwordsman, still coming up with anonymous apparently.

Mac and Charlie were at a loss for words. That was definitely Dennis in the sky, but that made no sense. Had they been huffing paint? Sniffing glue? Taking cat tranquilizers? For Charlie the answer was yes, of course, but never had Charlie shared a hallucination with someone before. And Mac was definitely seeing what he was seeing.

“Hh my God, dude, why the hell is there a giant naked Dennis in the sky?!” Mac’s voice was panicked as he paced up and down the room, hands at his hips.

“So, so this isn't a Japan thing?” Charlie asked, trying to think of any explanation to this. Mac stared at him, agape.

“No Charlie. No, a GIANT NAKED DENNIS IN THE SKY IS NOT A JAPAN THING.”

“Well hey man, there's no need to shout, I just thought I'd ask, because you know, cover all my bases and stuff.” Charlie muttered as Mac stopped pacing, clasping his hands over his mouth.

“I’m freaking out here bro, what do we do?” Mac asked.

“Well look, why don't we like, go outside and see if we can find Frank? Frank's smart, he’ll know what to do.” Charlie replied, and with little other options Mac reluctantly agreed. They gingerly opened their hotel room door and stepped into the hallway, only to find it was just the same as their room; practically devoid of color apart from the women who occupied the hall, the men matching the dreary aesthetic. Upon closer inspection, Charlie noticed the women were completely naked. He looked at Mac with a dirty smile.

“Oh ho, hey, b- OH MY GOD.” Charlie and Mac both screamed and fell over each other when they noticed that although the woman towards coming towards them was definitely living and breathing, her skin was shiny, like plastic. Her eyes were wide open, and her mouth was fixed into a permanent ‘O’ position. Most noticeable of all, however, was the branding across her stomach, looking like a part of a design:

**_‘Made in Japan_ **

**_Single use only.’_ **

“‘an I ‘elp ‘oo?” She tried to say, but her mouth wouldn't allow her to form the sentence properly. Mac and Dennis quickly shook their heads, and began making their way down to the lobby. It wasn't just the women who were weird-though their bodies were almost completely human, the men's faces were blank, with nothing but their job descriptions written where their eyes should be.

“What the FUCK is this, dude?” Mac hissed in hushed whispers, his mind still not understanding what he saw

“I don't have a fucking clue man, this another Japan thing?”

“No, Charlie! None of this is a ‘Japan thing’! Living sex dolls and faceless grey men is not a staple of Japanese culture!”

“Hey, hey, dude, dude, look!” Charlie pointed to a man in a white robe, standing on a soapbox. He wore a blue mask, and had a crowd of sex doll women and grey men gathered around him.

“-and they shall live for Dennis, they shall die for Dennis, all of us our pawns in the great life that is Dennis Reynolds.”

“What the fuuuuuck,” Mac let out involuntarily, and the crowd went silent. Slowly, the blow up dolls and grey men who made up the congregation began to turn around.

“Oh shit.” Charlie whispered, as he felt the murderous intent in the air.

“What man dares to attempt to stand out as much as the great Dennis?” The masked man asked sternly, and Charlie gulped, glancing at Mac who gave an ‘I dunno’ sign with his hands.

“Uh, we were just, uh, leaving. We didn't mean to do any harm, we’ll like, just be on our way…” Charlie laughed nervously.

The crowd had began to gather around them both. Other masked people appeared, although their robes were much murkier than the ones worn by the man giving the speech.

“Do you know what the punishment is for a MALE to attempt to be seen like the Mighty Dennis, infidel!?”   
Charlie and Mac had nowhere to run as the men grabbed them tightly. It wasn't looking good.

“ _Death,_ ” snarled the masked man.

“Oh shit” They both cursed, struggling to get free. Though the grip the gray man had on Mac was strong, Due to Charlie's high cheese consumption and nervous nature he was sweating far more, so much so that he was able to escape the grip of the man and start running. He looked back at Mac, conflicted.

“What the hell Charlie!? , Charlie don't you dare man, I swear to God-” Mac spat, trying to get free of his own captor.

“I'll find Frank, okay? I'll find Frank, and like, some Ninjas, and come back for you!”

“God damn it Charlie! Of course, go get Frank, as if you could ever do anything yourself!” Mac yelled back as Charlie disappeared into the crowd.   
The masked man indicated for the people holding Mac to follow him. “Bring him. We shall make an example of him.” The man's voice was sour, but there was an almost gleeful tint to it.

“You're just as useless here as you are at the bar! You’re useless, Charlie!” Mac shouted into the distance, even though he was nowhere to be seen. He continued to struggle against his captor. “You know I can get out of this. I'm just waiting till you let your guard down, then BAM. Gonna roundhouse kick you in the face, the double punch these two assholes before making my daring escape. You’re going _doooown_.” Mac’s voice began to crack.

“Why aren't you sending anyone after him, huh? You know I'm telling the truth, know you need all these guys to contain me?” he asked the masked figure, who simply laughed.

“He is but a rat in the woodwork. He is no threat to the great Dennis, even with color in his cheeks. Why would I sent anyone after a rat?”

“What did you just say?”

The congregation stopped, the masked man and Mac turning. Charlie stood there, breathing heavily.

“Charlie! You came back for me!” he cried, relief in his voice.

“Screw you Mac, I only came back because, like, I dunno where the hell I'm going, all the signs are in Japanese and shit. Also, I work harder for the god damn bar then any one of you assholes but oh no, Charlie work is easy, Charlie’s useless, well fuck you, man!” What Mac said really pissed him off...but at least Mac was his friend. Sure, he doesn't acknowledge how hard Charlie work is. Sure, he thinks Charlie's useless, but he knew Charlie long enough that Charlie would let it slide, even if it pissed him off. But who the hell was this masked asshole?

“And you… [ ohohoho ](https://youtu.be/eMTy40TxEbE)…” Charlie's laugh was scary, and the Masked man seemed taken aback. “you gon call me a rat? Well lemme tell you a little thin about rats.”

Charlie grunted, doubling over. A pain surged through his body, like he'd never felt before.

“Rats….are Smart. Rats…are brave… Rats… are hero’s…Rats… like Cheese… So maybe…” He looked up, his eyes glowing yellow. His eyes became engrossed in blue flames, as green spandex began to almost grow to cover his head. “I'M A BETTER RAT THAN YOU!”

a voice echoed in Charlie's head as his screamed echoed through the lobby.

**_So….you finally renounce the life of luxury to become a denizen of the shadows? Crawling about where those who love the light will never tread… very well. I shall become your power._ **

Charlie finally found his grip, and ripped the now bloodstained green mask from his face.

his body was engulfed in flames, and the Dennis worshipers began to run away, dropping Mac who watched flabbergasted. Eventually, all that remained was the first masked man they had run into, who collapsed into a pile of black goo on the floor and remerged as a small red flying demon, with an enormous codpiece. As the flames dissipated, Charlie was left standing in a very bright green outfit. It looked like it was made of liquid mercury, Mac had seen this outfit before, but never so realised. A figure began to from behind Charlie, with a large, grotesque head and beady eyes. His nose was crooked, and he had an overbite with two very sharp teeth. He wore a large cloak his body was hidden by, although on closer inspection the cloak was moving, as it was weaved seemingly from hundreds of live rats.

“Let's do this…” Charlie looked straight at the man in the mask, and pointed. “ **NOSFERATU!”**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna try and post regularly on a Friday. 
> 
> Emphasis on try. 
> 
> Also went back and edited the last Chapter to turn Charlie from Dayman to Greenman. I feel Greenman is more...Phantom Thief, Hero of the people who doesn't play by the rules.

**Chapter 3**

 

“So, whatta we got” Joker asked Futaba, as the phantom thieves gathered around her laptop.

“Well, the flight Kelly-Kun booked was with him and four others, Frank, Deandra and Dennis Reynolds, and a Ronald Mcdonald.”

“Ronald Mcdonald? Like. The clown?” Ryuji blinked, and Futaba shrugged.

“That's what it says.”

“I see…so Kelly-san and Reynolds-San are acquainted with each other.” Yusuke said, nodding his head.

“Seems that way. By looking up the credit card history to the cards linked to the tickets, it seems they’re staying in Shinjuku. Holy cow, this guy spends a lot of money… and not exactly on the most above board stuff, although he’s linking these purchases to a shell account for wolf cola.” Futaba looked disgusted.

“That's not all guys…” Makoto spoke up, and showed the others her phone.

“a gut feeling I had told me to keep the metanav open, and well…”

Ann’s eyes widened in shock.

“they _all_ have a palace?!” she gasped, recoiling in horror.

“Damn, talk about your toxic friendships…” Ryuji muttered, and Morgana jumped up on the table.

“This isn't good. For 5 palace owners to be together like that…they must have a truly distorted view of the world. Not only would they be destroying each other's lives, but they would consistently destroy the lives of anyone they come across, regardless of if their palace was like Futaba's or not. We have to find them before they return to America.”

The gang all nodded in agreement.

“Futaba, what's our deadline?” Joker asked.

“they leave in three days. We don't have a lot of time. I have the name of their hotel and all their social media profiles. I'll see if I can find out anything from here that helps us work out their code words.” Futaba explained. Haru picked at a thread on her jumper, nervous.

“but three days to take down four palace's…”

“Yeah, and they're Americans, so it's unlikely their places are even here…” Ann sighed.

“... Not to mention the fact that with the disappearance of Kelly-San’s palace in conjecture to the app appearing on his phone does have some dire implications…” Yusuke’s voice was as heavy as the atmosphere in the room. They had been up against challenges before, but this was on a whole other scale. With all the other targets they at least knew they could access the palace's, but this time even with all the keywords the palace would still be the other side of the ocean. And if one of them really did awaken to their persona…but now wasn't the time to think about that. At the very least, if this Dennis Reynolds palace was the world, then they might have a shot with that one. The deadline was three days. They had until then to change the heart of the arrogant American, and retrieve Futaba’s phone.

“OK Phantom Thieves” Joker smiled, trying to raise everyone's spirits.

“let's go.”

 

“Holy shit Charlie!”

Mac blinked his eyes in amazement. Where only two seconds ago the flying creature was, there now lay a pile of ashes from the lightning bolt that came from nowhere. Mac pushed himself off the floor and ran to his friend who stood there stunned.

“Holy crap Mac did you see that?” He sputtered, trying to work out what just happened.

“Yeah, dude you just lightning bolted that bitch!” Mac laughed, still in shock.

“I know dude it was so awesome! Did you like what I did there? Like man I sounded pretty badass right, with the whole rat thing, and-”

“Oh no the rat thing was lame and stupid” Mac interrupted “I have no idea why you thought that would sound cool, but the giant creepy man and the ‘zswoosh zzzzaaaappp aaaaaa I'm dying aaaa’ thing was freaking incredible man! How'd you do that!”

“I dunno man, I just felt like some incredible pain and then bam, creepy dude and lightning powers, I have no-wait shit, my clothes.” Charlie put his hands to his chest, only just noticing the change. “shit dude, is this…is this Greenman? Am I fucking Greenman right now?”

“Yeah dude, your fucking Greenman!”

“I'M FUCKING GREENMAN”

Their revelry was suddenly cut short, however, as a giant fingertip came down, crushing everything in front of them. Instinctively Charlie covered Mac as a single word popped into his head.

“TETRAKARN!” He shouted, and the grotesque figure from before appeared once more, shielding Mac and Charlie from the debris, but they still fell to the ground. The phone Charlie had, now with no pockets, slid down his trouser leg.

“well well well, look what the cat dragged in.”

As the dust settled, the duo looked up in time to see a rapidly shrinking Dennis approaching them. He reached the size of his real world counterpart, and took a step forward. Despite being smaller again, he was still completely golden, apart from his hair, which was white. Even his eyes were golden.

“Dennis! What the hell’s going on man, you almost killed us! And why’d you look like one of those prizes they give celebrities called Oscar?”

Dennis’s sense of gravitas faltered as both he and Mac stared at Charlie.

“Charlie-They don't-They don’t only give them to celebrities called Oscar-” Mac started.

“Yeah they do, that’s why they call them the Oscars!”

“Charlie lot’s of Celebrities have won Oscars who aren't called Oscar! There’s an entire female category! How would they all be called Oscar?!”

“What then why are they called Oscars?”

“Well, I mean, probably because the guy who made them was called Oscar…? Or it’s based off a guy called Oscar....?”

“No no no, you idiots are both wrong.” Dennis interrupted, his attitude much more familiar. “They are called, The Oscars, because of the Oscar Mayer Weiner company. That’s why they did the ads before movies.”

Mac and Charlie blinked a few times.

“Well, Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” Charlie looked at Mac.

“Yeah.” He agreed, and Dennis grew visibly angry. He clapped his hands, drawing their attention.

“Hey hey hey, stop that! First, you come in here, into my domain with all your colours and faces and emotions, and then you don’t even give me the attention I deserve? And from the people, I have come to regard as...pawns, whose company I don’t despise?” Dennis’s voice had on odd twinge to it, causing Mac and Charlie to squint. Something was off, but they couldn’t quite put their finger on it.

“Wait…” Mac finally clicked. “Dennis. Are you doing a British accent?”

Dennis swallowed, his eye twitching slightly.

“What do you mean?”

Mac and Charlie’s eyes widened, and they began laughing.

“Oh my god, you’re totally doing a British accent dude! Why?”

“The...British accent is refined, eloquent, it’s-”

“Jesus Christ dude, you sound like such a little bitch right now.”

Mac and Charlie continued to laugh, and Dennis was not happy. Charlie noticed the phone on the ground and picked it up.

“Oh shit, the phone.”

The display was a map, but it was coloured black and red. At the bottom was a big button which said ‘Exit Palace.’ The fact Dennis was being ignored drove him over the top. He clicked his fingers, and before they could react the sound of thundering footsteps could be heard from the distance.

“You know what God damn it you know what fine, you mock me? Ignore me? The Rat and The Closeted homosexual, Did the two of you _really_ think you had what it takes to change my heart?” Dennis gloated, and a horrifying squeal could be heard from behind them. As they turned, a gaggle of devout Dennisites came running towards them. Mac double took, his mind still preoccupied with by what Dennis just said.

“Say what now? Dennis, i’m not-”

Charlie, who wasn’t really paying attention, pressed the button on the phone screen. Within an instant, Dennis and the cult were gone, and the colour returned to the hotel lobby. They looked at each other, their minds trying to comprehend what had happened. 

"Oh-Well-Oh shit. Guess that's over then. Hoo Boy, that was freaking weird."

“Charlie, did you hear what Dennis said?” Mac sounded excited, as he placed his hands on Charlie’s shoulders.

“What, that you’re gay?”

“Wha-No! About changing his heart!” Mac grabbed the phone, shoving it in Charlie’s face. “What if this, this was given to you by the Phantom Thieves!”

The Cogs were turning in Charlie’s brain.

“O-..Oh! Oh! The phansite post! Shit dude, you think that’s what this is?!”

“Yeah man, I think we’ve just been made Phantom Thieves!”

“Shit dude! Aw, that’s awesome!”

Mac took a deep breath, and let out a contented sigh.

[ “Let’s change Dennis’s heart.” ](http://alexanderlozada.com/iasip/?IkRlbm5pcyBoYXMgYSBtZW50YWwgc2h1dGRvd24i)

 

BONUS THINGY:

 

Charlie's awakening. (very roughly done because I was bored, yes I know his mask should already be off.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man I am terrible at updating

"Jesus Christ Deandra, lighten up!" 

The voice belonged to a very short man, who looked like the human embodiment of the seven sins. He was chubby, with small wisps of hair flying freely. He wore glasses, which magnified his eyes, and carried a can of beer. He was walking alongside a scrawny looking blonde woman with a birdlike face, who did not look happy.

"No I won't lighten up Frank, you tried to sell me to the Yakuza! What the hell is wrong with you?!" She complained loudly, walking with the man over to the bar. For a crime so heinous, she seemed to be accepting his company fairly well.

"Heyayay, I didn't sell you, I was just gonna use you as a bargaining chip to see if Kaneshiro really had gone and went soft like the reports were saying. I have some shares in wolf cola that he's tied up in, so I thought, Hell, in that case, may as well charge all this crap to him! You were never in any danger, jeez."

"Oh yeah, Frank? Yeah? And what if he hadn't gone soft, yeah? What would have happened then?"

Frank stopped, blinking as he thought about it.

"Well shit, I guess I would have sold ya." He shrugged and took a drink whilst Dee scoffed in disgust.

"God damn it Frank. Buy me a drink."

Yusuke watched from afar behind a fern, horror in his eyes. These were definitely the Reynolds alright, but despite hearing what Futaba said he didn't think he'd be so convinced of their corrupt nature so soon...but these people were truly awful. He messaged the group to let them know. 

Yusuke: 'I have found two of them'

Haru: 'Which two?'

Yusuke: 'I believe it is Frank and Deandra. I must say, they are quite...unpleasant.'

Ryuji: 'Well yeah, when have we ever come across someone with a Palace who wasn't?'

Futaba: 'Hey! I take offence to that.'

Ryuji: 'Oh right, yeah...'

Ann: 'That was rude, Ryuji! Apologise!'

Ryuji: 'Alright, Alright, Sorry.'

Futaba: 'grrrr'

Haru: 'Where are they? Should we come meet you?' 

Makoto: 'A big group would just draw attention. I say whoever's closest should go, the rest of us continue to find the others. Where are you, Yusuke?'

Yusuke: 'I'm by the entrance bar. I feel...we are most likely to find the Reynolds party around alcohol. It is just...a hunch.'

Joker: 'I'm close. I'll see you soon. Let's see what else we can find. Good Job, Yusuke.' 

Yusuke looked up, and saw Frank and Dee looking at him, perplexed as he crouched in his hiding spot. Frank squinted at him. 

"Are you taking a shit?" 

He looked back at Dee, his face turning to one of disgust to one of eagerness.

"Well, when in Japan!" He cried out, before pulling down his trousers and squatting on the plant, ignoring Dee's frantic complaints.

Yusuke: 'Please hurry'. 

 

 

Ann looked up from her phone and sighed. She hoped those two would be ok. She leant against the wall, trying to think of her next move. Before she could act, a man had seemingly just appeared behind her. Immediately she recognized him from his picture, and her heart starting beating faster. 

"Domo Arigato" he smirked, his eyes cold as they passed over her. He wasn't an unattractive man, but his overpowering vibe was intense. This was definitely a Palace owner and a bad one. He felt worse than Kamoshida and Kaneshiro put together. This was definitely Dennis Reynolds. Though she was nervous, her first thought was confusion.

"Thank you?" She asked in English, confirming what he thought she'd said. 

"You're very Welcome." He put his hand on the wall next to her head, looking her up and down. "Also, you speak English! You have no idea how many girls I've approached only for them to respond in Japanese, it's, it's infuriating. You're actually, ah, my first catch." He winked, and the slime just oozed off him. "So tell me, what brings a nice girl like you to a place like this?"

"O-oh, y'know, just meeting friends." she laughed awkwardly. Dennis looked around the seedy hotel, raising an eyebrow. 

"Really? I don't see any friends here...Unless of course, these friends of yours are inside their rooms. Maybe, paid for you to come and meet them." He insinuated and moved slightly closer, causing Ann to back away slightly. "I could be your friend."

"Hey, Dennis!" A voice called from up the hall, and a man with a scruffy beard hurried along, much to Dennis's visible distaste. Ann took this as a chance to get the hell out of there, ushering a hurried apology in response. 

"Oh god damn it-god damn...What is it Charlie?" Dennis grumbled as Charlie watched the girl run away, confused. 

"Who, who was that kid?" Charlie sneered, and Dennis acted like he'd just been punched in the gut.

"Kid? What-Jesus Christ Charlie-She-She was at least 18" Dennis spluttered, his composure shaken.

"eeeeh I dunno dude she looked about 15 to me..." Charlie followed up, visibly perturbed. 

"No. N-No. Definitely not." Dennis said matter of factly, running his fingers through his hair and pausing. "...At the lowest, she'd be 17."

"17?! Dude 17 is still like, below the age of consent man, like-" Dennis put a hand up to stop him.

"Ba ba ba Charlie, I think you'll find Japan is a lot more sexually enlightened when we are in Philly. In fact, in Japan, they believe it is within every person's right to be allowed to have sex as soon as they have had their sexual awakening. It's why you have so many animated Asian schoolgirls with giant breasts."

"Yeah but...that's like...13, man."

"Well, yes."

"You...Wanna have sex with 13 year old?" The look on Charlies face became more and more uncomfortable, as Dennis reacted horrified at the idea.

"What? Jesus Charlie, no. God. What's wrong with you." He paused. "I'm just saying, if I did, I'd be within my legal right to do so."

"...Right. But. You're not...gonna like.."

"No! No. I just. Could. I never would of course, but I definitely could."

"....Right."

There was a few moments uncomfortable silence before Charlie attempted to make his leave, gesturing to the hallway behind him.

"Well that's-That's great man, anyway, see you later." He called as he ran away, straight into his and Mac's room where Mac was waiting for him. 

"How'd it go man, did he know anything or?" Mac asked.

"No man he has no clue about the other world or the gold thing but he's like, talking about having sex with 13 year olds and..."

"Dennis wants to have sex with a 13-year-old!?" 

"I know man it's crazy! Like we gotta do something about this man, like, ASAP."

Charlie pulled out his phone and loaded up the app. 

"Let's go."

He pressed the button, and the world around them changed, along with Charlie's clothes. Before anything else could be done, however, they heard a shriek from their door. Mac ran over and opened it, only to find a girl in a skin-tight red catsuit. She looked at the two men and sighed.

"Why does this always happen to me?"


End file.
